Understanding Your Blindspots Will Improve the Outcomes of Your Negotiations

The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself. - Thales

When you're in a negotiation, it's crucial that you understand yourself and know who you are. By understanding yourself, you will appreciate the source of your emotions and more importantly your fear.

A quick way to determine your personality type is to ask two questions. The first is about your pace or motor. Are you faster paced or slower paced? Do you like to move fast and want everyone else to move quickly as well? Or do you want to move a little more slowly and think some people need to slow down? Take a minute and write down your pace.

The next question is what do you typically focus on - the people or the task. When you're dealing with a problem, do you concentrate on the people involved or are you more concerned with the task that needs to be accomplished? Think about it and write down where your focus lies, people or task.

Now you should have two words written down, your pace and focus. Let's spend a little bit looking at the different combinations and how they might be a blind spot as you negotiate.

Fast and Task

If you wrote down fast and task, you're probably a doer. You like getting things done. Your motivation is the accomplishment itself. You enjoy being able to point to something and say, "I did that." You're probably not a big fan of plaques and awards. Instead, you only want to solve problems. The big picture is natural for you to see and is likely all you care about. You don't like messing with the fine details and get frustrated when someone asks you to discuss the subtler points.

In a negotiation, this can be a problem area you. You are most likely to focus on one or two big issues that are important to you and will probably yield a lot on other matters. A source of fear for you is not getting the deal done. You tend to focus on accomplishments and achieving tasks. This can be a problem area if you begin to feel you won't get the deal. You might allow your drive to obtain a deal on one or two issues weaken your position. Be careful of what you give away to get that single item.

Fast and People

If you wrote down fast and people, you're probably the life of the party. You're the one everyone wants to be around. You likely have lots of friends and others enjoy your company. You love to talk and will talk with just about anyone. Your motivation is likely the recognition you receive for being you and doing what you do. You probably start many projects but may suffer in seeing those projects through to completion.

When you're negotiating, being fast is good, but worrying if people will like isn't good. You're better served if you focus on what you can do rather than what they will think of you. Often, people think they will give them a good deal if they are "friends." I've noticed many times this belief doesn't happen. Fast-paced, people-oriented individuals also might talk more than they should. Be careful about what you are saying and think about the words you want to use. You do not want to give away too much information that might damage or weaken your position in the negotiation.

Slow and People

You love people and like to take things slow. It gives you real joy to help others. You are likely motivated by knowing how much you can help others. Sometimes your desire to help others is so strong you cannot say “no.” You also love routines and the status quo. You love to support others in their projects and are probably one of the sweetest folks in the world. Your compassion and caring know no limits.

Slow-paced, people-oriented individuals are great in support roles, but can at times be very poor negotiators. Their desire to please others often will supersede their interests. If someone threatens that a “no” to their request will change the relationship, you might be apt to say “yes” even when it’s not in your best interest. They frequently are seen as an “easy mark” or “doormat” but tough, aggressive negotiators. It’s okay to say “no” in a negotiation. More importantly, remember never try to save the other side. You can help them, but don’t sacrifice yourself to save them. Just like a drowning victim and lifeguard, the other side of the negotiation needs help, but you must protect yourself so you can provide that aid.

Slow and Task

Slow-paced, task-oriented individuals love data, and they love being correct. If this is your style, you are likely to enjoy processes and hard facts. Ambiguity is frustrating for you. You also want everything to be perfect. Do it right or don’t do it. You will check and re-check things to ensure whatever it is you're doing is correct. You are willing and able to defend your position and prove the other people are wrong or have erred. You like to debate just about anything.

In a negotiation, attention to the details is a great trait to have. However, be careful not to take too much time or ask for too much in your attempt to create the perfect deal. There are degrees of good. Understand that you might have to settle to on something you deem less than perfect to get the deal done. The enemy of good is perfection. Keep your desire to show you’re right in check. Sometimes it’s better to have a signed contract than to have proven you’re right.

Learn More About Yourself

If you’re interested in finding out more about yourself and how your personality is a strength in negotiation as well as the blind spots you have, send me an email. Understanding your blind spots and your fears is a good way of improving the outcomes of your negotiations.