Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

A few days ago, I had a conversation with my son. He did not want to participate in a particular event. Reading between the lines, I knew he was afraid of what the other kids at the event would think of him. He was nervous he would look foolish. He was scared he would fail. He was letting his fear of what others think of him hold him back. I’ve seen many physician leaders do this very same thing. A strong leader recognizes their fears and knows how to overcome them.

Watch Your Self-talk

One of the first things I find myself doing when I’m anxious about a particular situation is to ask “What am I thinking? What am I feeling?” Sometimes I have to ask this question out loud. I do get some odd looks sometimes, but saying it out loud helps snap me into focus. I can remember the first time I when on a solo flight. It was only me at the controls, the only person in the plane. I was nervous and remember thinking I might crash and die. Then I began to focus on other things. First, my flight instructor would not have handed me the keys and said go fly if he didn’t think I was ready. The same applies when someone gives you a leadership role. They have confidence in your abilities and talents. Focus on that rather than your own opinion of yourself.

Most People Probably Don’t Care That Much

When my son was afraid of participating in the event because he was afraid the other kids would laugh at him, he was projecting his fears and self-doubt onto them. To be honest, those kids probably didn’t care how he performed. One or two may have laughed some if he messed up, but for the most part, they really aren’t that interested in him. Instead, they are more interested in their own performance and how they are doing. They might compare their performance to his but only to judge their performance. In the end, they won’t remember his performance or his name. People are just not that into you. Now, there are those who gossip and spreads rumors in any organization. These people will always exist, and they should be ignored. Most of the time the stories they tell aren’t the whole truth and only the juicy bits they enjoy. And to be honest, they don’t care about you so much as they want to make themselves feel good. Don’t let the fear of being the topic around the water-cooler keep you from performing as a strong leader.

Get comfortable with stretching

My children have both been going through some growth spurts. They have been complaining of aches in their bodies. I swear some mornings they seem to be an inch or two taller than the previous evening. Growing isn’t comfortable physically, and it won’t be as you grow in your leadership. If you can get accustomed to the aches of leadership growth, you will see yourself soar. Some animals shed their skin or shells as they grow, and you need to do the same thing as you lead. Pick goals and objectives that will be a bit uncomfortable and cause you to stretch. Doing this will help keep your fear at bay because you already know it will be uncomfortable and you’ll chalk that discomfort up to being stretched and not to fear.

Recognize Your Fear for What It Is

A mentor of mine once said, “Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.” I liked that acronym a lot, and I use it whenever I’m feeling anxious about something. I ask myself, “What is the evidence I using to my this decision? Is it real? Is it valid?” Sometimes it is, but that’s where the risk comes into play. Other times, the perceived evidence is merely a false flag, something to get me worried about nothing. Is your fear based on real or false evidence?

Get Help from Someone

Many times when I faced with a hard decision, I ask some close advisors for advice. I want to make sure that what I’m thinking and feeling is valid and real. Getting someone else’s point of view can help a great deal in determining just that. My advice is to get a coach or trusted advisor who will be unbiased and entirely truthful with you. Merely talking something through with someone is enough to help you get over your fear.

The next time your feeling fearful in your leadership position, watch what you say to yourself, remember most people don’t really care, push yourself a little, and get assistance from someone, such as a coach. If you do these things, you’ll find yourself soaring in your leadership.